PRC Agents: Masters of Stereotypical Disguise

You: Hello there!

Stranger: hi!

Stranger: i’m Douglas from Taiwan,18

Stranger: and u?

You: Hey there, Douglas. My name is Nigel Dempsy. I’m from Australia.

You: Sydney, Australia.

You: How are ya?

Stranger: fine thank you^^

Stranger: Wow Sydney

Stranger: Cool

You: Have you heard of it?

Stranger: Sure!

You: Incredible.

You: I didn’t think that many people knew about Sydney.

Stranger: it’ famous

You: For what?

You: Oh, the Sydney Opera House.

You: That gets pictured a good deal, y’right.

Stranger: maybe it is one of the biggest cities in the world

Stranger: yeah

You: American tourists fly half way around the bloody world just to take a snapshot of it.

You: Then they go right back home, the lovable retards.

You: God bless them all.

Stranger: haha

You: Say, what line of business are you in, Dennis?

You: Your not in refrigeration, are ya?

Stranger: i’m a student

You: Well, good for you.

Stranger: yes, going to the college

You: Congratulations.

Stranger: thx ^^

You: I’m a professional.

You: I’m probably the oldest man on this bleeding chat woozabaloozle today.

You: Use it for my insomnia.

You: It helps me fall asleep, g’day.

Stranger: really

Stranger: oh god bless you

Stranger: so what time it is in Austrlia now?

You: Almost one in the bleeding morning.

Stranger: oh oh

Stranger: hope u can get sleep as soon as possible

You: You know what business I’m in?

Stranger: that’s important to your health

Stranger: no, what?

You: You bastards have refrigerators in Taiwan, don’t ya?

Stranger: yes

You: Do you know how a light goes on when you open the door?

Stranger: no

You: Well, usually you open the door – and there’s a light.

You: So you can see your food.

You: Inside the refrigerator.

Stranger: oh oh, i see what you meant now

Stranger: yes

You: And that light seems like it lasts forever, doesn’t it?

You: It always goes on; you never have to change it, right?

Stranger: haha yes

You: Well you know who makes those lights?

Stranger: u work for company make that light!

You: No, I work in publishing.

Stranger: publish?

You: Book publishing.

You: I publish coffee table books on top-shelf indoor carpeting.

You: Australians love high-end indoor carpeting, Daniel.

You: We can’t get enough of the garbage.

Stranger: really XDD

Stranger: i had no idea about that!

You: It’s a fairly common fact about us Australians.

You: But few people abroad seem to know about it.

You: You learned something new, didn’t you?

Stranger: YES

Stranger: i like that

You: What do the Taiwanese like, Denny?

Stranger: and thank you for giving me a lesson ^^

Stranger: well

You: Besides keeping mindful of running afoul of online agents from the People’s Republic of China, posing as stereotypical Australians, g’day?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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